My husband was admitted to the hospital yesterday and as we were texting earlier today it got me thinking about the benefits of technology and how much my views of it have changed in regard to children since we started unschooling and following respectful parenting practices.
Allowing unlimited access to technology is one of the big holdups for people making a transition into unschooling. It was definitely something that took me a while to understand and embrace. Now that we have made it through to the other side and I see the benefits of allowing unlimited access, I can tell you how much better off we all are. Over the years the kids have learned how to self-regulate and I don’t worry at all about how many hours they have “been on screens.” The constant conflict we were in with the questioning, monitoring, counting hours and imposing arbitrary limits – what a waste of time and unnecessary stress that all was!
Imagine if my husband had a “screen time” limit and wasn’t allowed to use his phone to get in touch with me, or vice versa. Not to mention the countless people that have reached out to him wishing him well. His phone is giving him a lifeline to the outside world while he is isolated and can’t have visitors. Doesn’t that seem ridiculous?
Why should it be any different for kids? I know my kids use their phones and computers to keep in touch with friends all over the country. Some friends they have made online and never met in person. What a shame it would be if they were denied the opportunity to meet these wonderful people. They are able to socialize so much more than if they were only allowed to see people in person.
Their lives are so much richer because information about ANYTHING is at their fingertips in a matter of seconds. I remember having to wait for a parent to drive me to a library, look in the card catalog (yes, I am that old, lol), then flipping through the books to see if any of the ones I found might have the information I was looking for at that time. Why would you want to limit your children’s access to the world? I know I am on Google countless times a day asking questions or looking up resources for something I am doing – everyone, regardless of age, should have this freedom.
But what if they want to play video games all day, you ask. Let them! There are sooo many benefits; you can read about them here. Is it really any different than an adult binge-watching Netflix? Sometimes it’s just what you need to do – it’s entertaining, it’s relaxing, it’s fun. Adults have the freedom to choose how to spend their free time and kids should too.
And remember, respectful parenting is about open communication between parents and kids. So, if you do have concerns about the amount of time your child is using technology, then talk to them about it. Maybe you don’t realize all the amazing things they are using it for and when you talk about it you will have a better understanding. Examine your own views of technology and where your worries are coming from; what are you afraid is going to happen? Are you worried about what other people will think? Are your fears based on truth? Are they rooted in your concern about losing control? I encourage you to dig deep and challenge your current reality. Technology isn’t something to be feared, it’s something to use to it’s greatest capacity.