There are many different terms used surrounding a choice to go against traditional schooling and parenting – unschooling, radical unschooling, self-directed learning, respectful parenting, and gentle parenting to name a few. Unschooling usually just refers to how a family views education whereas radical unschooling refers to how a family interacts with one another in addition to views on education. Respectful parenting and gentle parenting focus on the family dynamics. I tend to stay away from using the term radical unschooling because I think the term “radical” can throw off people who are more conservative. It can all be a bit confusing, and I have settled on saying that I am an advocate for Respectful Parenting and Educational Freedom. So, what exactly does educational freedom mean?
I have come to this term, educational freedom, because my two children couldn’t be more different from each other, and each has very different needs. Some people get hung up on saying that unschooling means your children don’t do anything “schooly.” That means no textbooks, workbooks, required work, deadlines, tests, etc. Well, what if your unschooled child is asking for them? For me, this ties directly into respectful parenting practices. My child is asking for things that resemble school and if I am being respectful of my child’s wants and needs, then I have to take this request seriously, even if I don’t think it’s necessary. This is how I landed on “Educational Freedom.”
Our family is in our seventh year of homeschooling with a natural transition that led to unschooling the last four years. It’s been an evolution of seeing what works for each of my kids, where they are comfortable, what they like and don’t like, if they like to be involved in groups or not, etc. We have tried any and everything you can think of and some of it was well received, and other things were not. But the important thing to remember here is that they had the choice to participate or not, to stay in said activity or to leave it (that’s the respectful parenting part).
Here are some examples of educational freedom in action. A few years ago, my son wanted to take a homeschool science class at the local science museum. It was structured like a typical classroom and met once a week. The teacher was great and he loved. Both kids participated in a homeschool STEM Scouts group for a year. It met once a week and was structured like a typical class by going over material and then doing an experiment or project. My son takes Japanese lessons twice a week with a private tutor. He has material to review and practice just like he would in a traditional classroom. Both kids have also asked to learn more math and have worked with a private tutor and had homework each week. These examples resemble classwork but they are also pretty flexible without a lot of pressure or grades associated with them (which I liked a lot!)
Another example of educational freedom in action pertains just to my daughter. In the spring of 2022, she said she wanted to take classes, have school subjects, homework, etc. Truthfully, I was a little heartbroken that she would want to do that after years of having the freedom not to and my advocating for unschooling. But, again the respectful parenting thing. I found somewhere for her to go that meets once a week, has the subjects she wants, and even has homework and tests (gasp!).
So, in August of 2022 she started taking classes at the homeschool tutorial. Her classes include Latin, history, biology, composition, and home economics. After the first semester she decided to drop Latin. No big deal; it’s not what she wants to do. I don’t ever tell her she has to do her homework or study for a test. It’s totally her decision. If she asks for my help, I absolutely give it to her. So far, she has done quite well and has all A’s. But I can tell you that if she didn’t, I wouldn’t care one bit. She is doing this because she wants to, not because there is any expectation from me. Whether or not she will go again next school year is still up in the air. Either way, it’s HER choice. THIS is educational freedom.
Other than his Japanese classes, my son doesn’t do anything else that looks like traditional schoolwork. Well, he is also studying for the ACT so I guess that counts as well. BUT, again, it’s HIS choice. No pressure from me. No expectations for performance. THIS is educational freedom.
For our family, respectful parenting and educational freedom go hand in hand. Educational freedom can only exist if you practice respectful parenting. Unschooling can look like whatever your child wants it to if you support educational freedom. Don’t get hung up labels and follow the lead of your children. If you truly listen to them they will let you know exactly what they need.
On a side note, I am writing this blog while I sit at the tutorial with my daughter (there is a common room where other parents also hang out and do work). She asked me to stay with her and I respect her enough to do it. And it’s actually great because I don’t have the distractions I would at home, so I wrote this blog.