It’s the million-dollar question isn’t it. What do your kids do all day if they’re not in school? I often get flustered when I try to answer this question, especially to non-homeschoolers, but to homeschoolers too. There are a lot of different ways to homeschool (maybe I’ll write about that in the future) and even in the homeschooling community parents look at me like I’m crazy when I explain that we don’t count grade levels and we don’t use any curriculum (side note: homeschoolers love to talk about curriculum, lol; I think it’s because they spend so much time and energy trying to find the exact right thing for their family and they have a lot of money and love invested in it.)
To be perfectly honest, I am still working on finding my “elevator speech” to answer the question quickly and succinctly. I am so passionate about educational freedom and self-directed learning that I often just want to explain everything and try to let others in on what feels like the best kept secret in the world. I mean, if they could just let go of the societal pressures and see what I see they could alleviate so much unnecessary stress. And then sometimes, I feel like I need to withhold information and pretend like we are doing what other homeschoolers do (like planning lessons) just so I don’t have to get the looks like we must be from another planet, lol.
Well, since I am writing my answer to the question – what do your unschooled kids do all day? – I have a moment to think about it and explain it better (at least I hope). I also must point out that it’s not just what they are doing, it’s their motivation for doing it and what they are getting out of it. We don’t do things just to be busy or appear to be busy. So, here is what they are currently doing that involves more traditional type classes, lessons, practices, etc. – all of which they have chosen to do.
My son (age 13) is in Boy Scouts (1 troop meeting + 1 camping trip/activity monthly), plays soccer (1 practice + 1 game weekly), takes a science class (weekly), takes lessons for the bass and drums (weekly), and takes a Japanese class (weekly). My daughter (age 12) is in Girl Scouts (2-3 meetings + activities monthly), takes piano lessons (weekly), a painting class (weekly), and is in an art club (monthly). For the past 3-4 months she has also taken about 8 classes on Outschool making miniature food out of clay. Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are ongoing throughout the year as are their music lessons and Japanese. Soccer is in the fall and spring, science follows an academic schedule, the painting class is just for a month (we’ll sign up for another art class in a month or so), and the art club takes the summer off.
All of these activities average about 7 hours for my son and 6 hours for my daughter per week (not including the driving time it takes to get them). We also have a tween/teen homeschool group that meets up for a couple hours just for social time about twice a month. And they each spend time with friends a few times a week just hanging out or having a sleepover. I should also mention that they do their own laundry, prepare many of their own breakfasts and lunches, and help around the house doing things like emptying the dishwasher, walking the dog, and other miscellaneous things that come up.
So what do they do when they are not at an activity, hanging out with friends or helping around the house? My son watches YouTube videos and plays video games. He also spends time enjoying the outdoors, practices his instruments, creates music on Garage Band and posts videos on his YouTube channel (he’s not super serious about it and just does it for fun). My daughter has a YouTube channel (she is serious about it but also does it for fun). She spends time on TikTok and YouTube and FaceTimes with friends that live all over the country. Lately, she has been into redecorating her room too. That’s the quick answer.
But it’s not until you dig deeper where you find out what they are really getting out of all these experiences. It takes a shift in perspective and, especially in the beginning, you must work at really seeing it. Here are a few examples of what’s actually happening during some of these non-structured activities.
· Video Games – problem solving, decision making, cooperation and collaboration with other players, team building, dealing with disappointment or loss, being a good winner, leadership, planning, reading, math, creativity, perseverance
· YouTube – (watching) find new things you like, learn about history, science, math, writing (literally anything you can think of you can find out more about it or how to do it), learn how to do something new; (creating) planning your content and how your video will look, organizing the information for your video, creativity, filming, public speaking, editing, engaging with your audience on the community tab, learning from positive and negative feedback on how to improve your channel and how to personally handle how you feel about the information
· TikTok – physical activity while dancing, cooperation and collaboration when dancing with friends, practicing, creativity, planning clear and concise messages to fit in the short time frame
· FaceTime – social interaction, social cues, non-verbal and verbal communication, feeling connected to friends, sharing feelings and emotions
This list is not comprehensive, and I am sure that when you start looking deeper, you’ll find even more learning/benefits than I have mentioned. Just keep an open mind and allow yourself to see how much more is happening than what appears on the surface.
In addition to the structured and unstructured time the kids spend doing their own things, as a family we travel quite a bit. This year has been less than in the past (ugh, Covid) but traveling is an important part of our lives. Road trips and cruises are what we do the most. Over the past two years we have taken at least 10 trips lasting anywhere from three days to ten days. We have traveled to multiple states, ridden a train, visited the mountains, been on two cruises to the Caribbean and Central America, and explored new parts of our own state. Later this year we are taking a long road trip and adding at least 9 more (maybe 10) states to the list of places they have been.
During these travels we have been to countless historical and art museums, science centers, nature centers, aquariums, zoos, animal sanctuaries, botanical gardens, parks, monuments, ancient ruins, landmarks, lakes, beaches, random attractions and sites, and more. This travel doesn’t even include day trips exploring where we currently live – there is so much to see and experience without even going far. Wherever we go it’s always fun to try new restaurants and food, we enjoy the scenery, meeting new people and being introduced to new cultures, and spending quality time together. We have created lasting memories and connections through our travels that have more value than anything they can get from completing pre-planned lessons that have no actual context. We have been able to find a balance where they have fun doing things outside the home (activities/lessons and travel) and have plenty of time to relax at home and decide how they spend their unstructured time.
As you can see, unschooling is so much more than just not going to school or even doing traditional homeschooling. It takes hours of research and planning to create an environment that embraces personal choices and provides the resources to make it happen. Recently my son said that I am like his manager. He mentions something he is interested in or wants to do and then I make it happen. It sounds funny but it’s true. I have information and resources on countless things that they have each mentioned they might want to do someday, and I just hold onto it until they are ready to move forward. I am also always on the lookout for ideas and activities that are going on and present the ideas to them to see if they are interested. Sometimes they are and sometimes they’re not. It’s about providing them with opportunities and then they make the decision to go or not to go, to do or not to do.
So, what do unschoolers do all day? Well, it depends on the day but some kind of learning is always happening.